I've been trying to play piano again. I lost about 3 months because of my silly, slightly dysfunctional brain. Reading music is a sure-fire seizure trigger for me. Anyway, since I'm feeling better now--thank you very much--I thought it was time to get back with the program.
I had this idea that perhaps, I should only play my own music. Surely I can handle that. I saw someone on TV saying that he learned at an early age that it was much easier to write his own songs, than to learn someone elses. No shit, Sherlock. It only took me a lifetime to figure that out.
My grand scheme is called "playing for the universe". I will weave beautiful melodies to send forth into the ether where spirits and energies cavort and collide. I will make a simple offering of peaceful harmonies, including some bits of pathos and discord for contrast. For, how can you recognize joy if you've never experienced sorrow?
Well, it's just not happening. Ten minutes at the piano and my head is spinning for hours. For now, the songs that I write in my head will have to stay there. Will it get better? If I keep trying, will my brain form new, healthy connections? Does "use it or lose it" apply to this scenario? I really don't have a clue.
Perhaps the universe is telling me to focus on something else. I've never been good at deciphering subtle hints, but being hit with a sledgehammer can be pretty persuasive.
Still looking for directions,
Serena
