Due to a small seizure, I was unable to play piano for the past three days. In the past I've gotten really angry with myself when my brain interferes with living my life, but I'm trying to overcome those negative and useless feelings. Still, I only have so many days left in this life to accomplish things. Surely, the universe knows this. What lesson am I supposed to be learning here? Perhaps, I needed some downtime, but it's not as if I'm killing myself, working my fingers to the bone on a daily basis. When I don't play, I feel like such a slug. I've wasted so much time already. O.K., it doesn't sound like I'm succeeding at overcoming my negativity.
When I did sit down to the piano today, it seemed that I was playing with more concentration and more energy, more emotion coming through. Maybe downtime is good. Then my brain started to fuzz over and I was back at square one. So, I took the dogs for a walk (yes! I can walk today!) and tried to keep my mind in a submissive state and open to guidance. No great revelation yet but I'm confident that I will have an epiphany sooner or later.
Right now, I'm going to give it another try. I'll just work through the fuzzy brain and maybe something good will come.
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